The Island

August 17, 2006 at 10:02 pm (Family, Personal)

Today I’m supposed to take the kids to “the Island” which years ago was a small fishing camp on an island in the Navasink River in Rumson. Rumson is very beautiful and elite – but the island is pretty rustic – it’s actually very pretty sitting on the deck at the bungalow. But I really hate going there. The beach is muddy sand, Jim is often an ass, Jim’s mother is annoying, my mom is generally stressed out because of Jim & his mother. I could go on and on, but I don’t have to be there. The boys are going for a visit with my mom & stepfather, with the added bonus that I get to drop them off. I was originally going to go wander around Red Bank by myself for a while, but my girlfriend Michele not only met me (with her girls) but treated me to lunch AND a Mocha Frappuccino at Starbucks, so it was lovely. I only have a tiny misgiving about leaving them there without my presence – I’m just going to tell my mom I want her in their presence at all times.

Mommy came here Monday and we had a wonderful visit. I was so glad for her company and help – especially since Trip had to work late Monday, got home late Tuesday because of the train, and then was just a little late Wednesday. Tuesday was Elliot’s 8th birthday, and our planned day with his two best friends at the Point. Pleasant boardwalk went really well. As an added bonus, my mom treated me to a really great haircut, which I was somehow able to get before the party in spite of the fact that the salon wasn’t even due to open till it would have been too late. I’m a little concerned that it will look bad when I’m the one in charge of fixing it after I wash it. So I figure today is the last day it will look this nice. Naturally, Trip didn’t even notice. Things have been kind of bad with us, I think – he’s been coming home late, and I just feel hopeless about the future.

My back is bothering me in a new bad way today. Some muscle running up my right side midway between my hip and my shoulder was killing me last night (when I was being woken up by Nathan, who was seeing his weird dots in his Night Terror dreams & Alex, who fell asleep just before dinner and then woke up disoriented and upset in the middle of the night and had to come sleep at my feet.) It’s still hurting – and I don’t know if I even want to try to go any where today because of it.

I’m pissed about a little thing – I had found a great bookcase & desk on Craig’s List and it fit great with the boys room – right in Asbury – she told me she would “consider it sold” and then yesterday emailed me that an earlier person was taking it. Whatever.

The house still looks great, I’m still fat holding rather steady between 148 and 151. Not good.

Update on Island visit – it’s actually two days after the fact, but I couldn’t just leave it out – Jim was a total asshole when I went to the house. I wound up getting “the Curse” while there – so though I didn’t have a mess to contend with, I really just wanted to get home immediately. I got a terrible headache and cramps, Jim had been slugging wine for a while (my mom said he was “speed drinking”, he made a derogatory racial comment (while discussing a rape and murder in front of my kids). I finally was able to leave and cried most of the way home – depressed about being stuck in that bungalow and feeling so shitty about it, having my period, when I’m really scared that I’m running out of time to get pregnant if I want to try and have a baby girl, and just being sad about my marriage in general. I settled down after a while, Laura called and stopped by and talking with her helped. Then when Trip got home it was kind of sucky, I was late making dinner after Laura’s visit, after dinner the kids were filthy and I had no help with getting them through the bath, then I came downstairs to Trip playing his video game. Not much talking, though he did tell me he had a bad day.