Whisper to a Scream

March 4, 2005 at 8:19 am (Uncategorized)

I think that’s the name of a song. That’s me around the house right now. I have lost my voice and I get by on whispering – it’s actually just starting to hurt. When I am sick of the kids ignoring me or really need to get something out, I have to yell which comes out screechy. I haven’t been resting my voice as I should, but part of that was work, part of it is that I have to talk to the boys, and part of it is that my girlfriend really needed to talk and what could I do. I am too much of a puss to just insist that I get off the phone.

I updated the checking account and I see we got our tax refund deposited. Nice! I kind of thought I should just pay off credit card debt with it, and I have bills that I lag on and I can use some of the money to catch up. It’s so tempting when we have cash in the bank to think we can use it for some fun things, but clearly we’ve already spent this money. I’m going to be very conservative, because I did say when I started this blog that I was going to A) Lose weight, and B) become debt free.

I will lose weight, too. I’m just getting psyched up for it now…My way of saying I can’t hack the mental commitment required. I am a slug. And I like refined carbohydrates and butter. But I HOPE I can muster up enough self respect to get into shape for the sake of my health, and also to feel more confident about my self. (That’s the other positive change in my life I said I was chronicling in my blog – gaining confidence.) I am confident about some things, but I want to hide about all this fat! I guess when I have it all together it will come easier – right now it seems impossible.