Devastating Photo of me!
I would never display this awful thing. I can’t even imagine getting it printed. Today my buddy Michele and I were going to start our Strong Women’s Journals, and I was going to really buckle down and get with the program. I was very overwhelmed today with stuff. The kids had a bath first thing because we stunk like smoke from Aunt Marilyns Easter dinner with all the smokers when we got in late last night. Then I scoured the tub, did 4 loads of laundry & a load of hand wash, finished preparing my photos for Trip to print for me at work (for mom’s and my scrapbook, did some mending, worked for 2 hours for Frank from home, played with the kids, made lunch, the usual – but I did not make my fruit drink, take my vitamin or my Trimspa, exercise, or drink water, despite thinking that I ought to several times. I did however decide to have Elliot take a “before” picture of me. I was going to try to use the automatic timer so he wouldn’t have to be involved (and I wouldn’t have to explain it), and then thought it would be so much easier if he could just do it. He was great – but I’m awful! Seeing myself there in my bra and underwear there is no hiding the fact that I am seriously overweight. By any measure. I’ve never seen myself looking so bad, and not having a full length mirror in our house, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen myself in quite that way. Thinking of that picture almost makes me want to cry. So, it doesn’t matter how I fill my day with busy and mostly necessary projects. If I don’t seriously focus on losing weight, I’m only going to stay like this. It’s completely unacceptable. But I’m not going to talk about it any more tonight. Tomorrow I’m going to start the day off right!
I started on Kimberly’s baby gift. I talked to her the other night and she had her baby boy. I could hear his little baby noises in the phone. So precious. I had been imagining my project, but when I laid out my material, I see that I’m going to have to get some more material for it. I’m bummed, because I only found the stuff I was looking for at Walmart, and I hate shopping there, but it really is just the thing I want. I was trying to use up every little scrap, trying to avoid buying anything new, but I can’t do it. So, tomorrow I’m off to the evil giant. But I’m only getting a yard of material and I’m out of there!
I was just Instant Messaging with my buddy Ben and telling him how fat I am and now I feel like I’m going to cry. I gotta go. Wish me luck for tomorrow (and many days to follow!)
Devastating Photo of me!
I would never display this awful thing. I can’t even imagine getting it printed. Today my buddy Michele and I were going to start our Strong Women’s Journals, and I was going to really buckle down and get with the program. I was very overwhelmed today with stuff. The kids had a bath first thing because we stunk like smoke from Aunt Marilyns Easter dinner with all the smokers when we got in late last night. Then I scoured the tub, did 4 loads of laundry & a load of hand wash, finished preparing my photos for Trip to print for me at work (for mom’s and my scrapbook, did some mending, worked for 2 hours for Frank from home, played with the kids, made lunch, the usual – but I did not make my fruit drink, take my vitamin or my Trimspa, exercise, or drink water, despite thinking that I ought to several times. I did however decide to have Elliot take a “before” picture of me. I was going to try to use the automatic timer so he wouldn’t have to be involved (and I wouldn’t have to explain it), and then thought it would be so much easier if he could just do it. He was great – but I’m awful! Seeing myself there in my bra and underwear there is no hiding the fact that I am seriously overweight. By any measure. I’ve never seen myself looking so bad, and not having a full length mirror in our house, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen myself in quite that way. Thinking of that picture almost makes me want to cry. So, it doesn’t matter how I fill my day with busy and mostly necessary projects. If I don’t seriously focus on losing weight, I’m only going to stay like this. It’s completely unacceptable. But I’m not going to talk about it any more tonight. Tomorrow I’m going to start the day off right!
I started on Kimberly’s baby gift. I talked to her the other night and she had her baby boy. I could hear his little baby noises in the phone. So precious. I had been imagining my project, but when I laid out my material, I see that I’m going to have to get some more material for it. I’m bummed, because I only found the stuff I was looking for at Walmart, and I hate shopping there, but it really is just the thing I want. I was trying to use up every little scrap, trying to avoid buying anything new, but I can’t do it. So, tomorrow I’m off to the evil giant. But I’m only getting a yard of material and I’m out of there!
I was just Instant Messaging with my buddy Ben and telling him how fat I am and now I feel like I’m going to cry. I gotta go. Wish me luck for tomorrow (and many days to follow!)
Anthrax! and Vaccine Danger!
I just got this email from my Holistic Mom’s Network from MTV News about the heavy metal band Anthrax: “According to the Anthrax statement, the band has scheduled a press conference for April 1 at 2 p.m. at the headquarters of Sirius Satellite Radio in New York City, to formally announce their reunion, kick off the “Spreading the Anthrax Weekend” on Sirius’ Hard Attack channel and “make an important statement regarding the U.S. Government and the anthrax vaccine.” The release says the group wants to raise public awareness about the dangers of the vaccine, as well as the newly legislated Project BioShield Act, which explicitly allows the Food and Drug Administration to approve drugs and vaccines that have not been fully tested during times of declared emergency. (full article). I don’t vaccinate my kids because I don’t trust the medical establishment or the Federal government to act in the best interests of my family. And this new Patriot Act stuff is just sick! some of the stuff I learn about our country makes me want to just pack up and leave. But I’m glad that people are becoming more aware at least.
On the subject of becoming more aware… I consider myself a Liberal Progressive. Don’t run and hide at the mention of the word Liberal until you read what it really means – and Progressive – we all should be proud progressives! I am a member of Progressive Secretary, which is an email group I belong to that sends lots of letters for me to Congress and other officials: http://www.ProgressiveSecretary.org.
On their website, you can choose the issues you want to be informed about, and the frequency of mailings you want to receive. They send you sample letters, ask you if you’d like the letter sent, and if you just click “please send” they personalize the letter so it goes to your representatives in Washington, with your name and address, just as though it came directly from you. (Even though your name and address show at the bottom of the letter, they never give your name out on lists or to other participants; they are very careful to protect your privacy.) It’s free and their “staff” are all volunteers. I am a volunteer for them, as well! You can suggest they do letters on issues you’re especially interested in. I am much more politically involved because I can and do easily follow-through by emailing my representatives on issues I care about. I feel that we have too much to complain about in regard to politics, but at least I’m complaining in the right place!
My mother-in-law just came over with Easter gifts. Further proof that we are spoiled. I got a bunch of stickers I had on my wish list – they are called Nostalgiques by Rebecca Sower. – photographic stickers of antique keys, typewriter keys, lace, buttons, and other ephemera for scrapbooking, and a beautiful teal Waterford glass bowl – which I have a feeling was re-gifted – but I love it. The boys have a whole new set of toys, Trip 2 DVD’s and a book! Perhaps Easter isn’t a gift giving holiday in your home – but we get presents for almost EVERY holiday! Nothing drives home the message of reducing consumption like a pile of packaging refuse left behind after a visit from Grandma! Granted, I have a wishlist, and I love getting presents, and my items actually don’t have a lot of packaging, and we will get presents no matter what, so it might as well be things we really want, but we don’t feel we NEED them, the kids certainly don’t and we don’t really have the space. We are really struggling with this stuff. But for now, I’m just going to enjoy the bounty. You will see pics later. I’m going to go finish my cold coffee now.
Long Time No Speak
I’ve been completely wrapped up in my life, and no time that I wanted to sit and write. I just finished the last book of the Merlin Trilogy by Mary Stewart and it was the best! I couldn’t put it down. I’m trying to think now of what we have done since I last wrote. Ahhh, it’s been since last week! Saturday I went to my Garden Club in the morning and planted some seeds. Alex joined me and was thrilled to be put to work digging in the dirt. Then Saturday night, Anne Marie and I went to see The Vagina Monologues!! It wasn’t the one on Broadway, and I don’t even know if that is still running. (I just tried to Google it and couldn’t find it directly). It was put on by several women from our congregation at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Monmouth County. I was actually joking before hand, when we were wondering who was performing and I meanly said it would probably just be some ladies from our place, but they put on a terrific set of performances. We had anticipated a large group of girlfriends going together, but in the end it was just Anne Marie and I and we had a great time being out sans kids.
Sunday, we went to see Robots with the kids. I thought it was really beautifully made, even if the story wasn’t the greatest. It was one of those nice “Family Fun Days” where we just enjoyed the kids and a good time out. Monday I was at a loss – unable to get my self together, but managed to pull it off. Tuesday Trip was home on the first of his days off for the week. I have been working on mommy’s and my own scrapbook every day – picking beautiful papers, stickers, lining up her pictures, getting together a list of pictures that need reprinting. I’m so excited about these albums, and think I’m aiming to have mommy’s done for Mother’s Day. I made Easter cookies for Elliot’s school party and to bring with me to Aunt Marilyn’s dinner on Sunday. Alex was feeling badly about missing the school party, so we had a little get together here on Thursday with 2 girlfriends and their 2 girls each. (So I had to make cupcakes, too!)
Now it’s Friday, and we are just back from a family lunch to our favorite Japanese Lunch Buffet – recently bought by a new company and just as good, if not better. That’s different! It was Kiku and now is called Fune in Ocean Twp. Now I’m barely able to sit comfortably because I ate so much! Little Miss Weightloss! I’m starting the Strong Women’s Journal with Michele on Monday after Easter so we have no more guilty splurging to do. I guess that means I have to eat all the kids Easter Candy before Monday!
Party time
There’s been a lot of partying going on in my life, but not generally the kind I seek out. Thursday I had a great day and after school took the boys out to Chuck E. Cheese for a friend’s birthday party. I really hate going there, but I have to admit, this was the most pleasant visit I’ve ever made there. It was nearly deserted except for our party and a few other kids. I didn’t feel I could really relax, kept worrying about Nathan, but he had fun despite his few worrisome incidents. I also always feel like the place is filthy, think the food is awful, and the “prizes” are pathetic – I’d rather they just skipped the whole thing. But the kids had fun, and that’s what it’s all about. I just pray my kids don’t want their parties there. I happen to really enjoy planning their parties and doing all the silliness, and I would feel robbed if they didn’t want my home made parties, but i would do it if they really wanted it. Right now I’m planning for Nathan’s Farm Yard party – but not really into it quite yet.
Today was another great day. I started out with my house pretty much a wreck. I couldn’t get focused and I might have wallowed in my inability to accomplish anything but I nailed it all! I wrote a list and ran around and took care of business. I’m sure this was because Duane was coming for a visit. But whatever it takes – that’s fine with me. He took Alex, Nathan and I out to Osaka at the Station where I had Unagi Don – Broiled Eel over rice – my favorite. (And the Miso soup & salad.) Such a nice treat. Then I came home, whipped together a very cute card for Jake’s birthday in about 5 minutes – a record for me and I was really happy with it. Just wish I remembered to take a picture – duh. I’m going to make some more anyway – because it was so easy and nice. His party was at the Monmouth Museum Dinosaur exhibit – which my kids were terrified of when we walked into the dark, realistic, full sized, loud moving robotic dinosaur exhibit area. They really loved the running around area that didn’t have that stuff, though. We went for pizza after that. I am feeling a bit tired, so I will keep this short – but I wanted to update. Still taking Trimspa – too lazy to actually exercise, but i think I’m not eating as much. I guess I should make a deal with myself like I can’t update the blog UNTIL I exercise. What’s wrong with me?
The cutest girly chandelier!
I am all smiles today. I worked for Frank this morning, got a bunch of errands done this afternoon, FINALLY getting my adorable pink crystal chandelier for my sewing room from Target WITH my Paypal money. It is pale pink – actually very close to the color of my sewing room – has 3 candle sticks, and some floral looking metal work, and clear and pale green crystals draped around. Picture soon – I promise! Trip doesn’t like it, and I figured he wouldn’t, but I honestly saw it there in the store and I knew it was the one. (And I went back there 5 different times to get it before they got it in – then managed to get the wrong sized lightbulbs!!!!), WALKED the kids to the playground (good mommy), made a nice dinner, did some more errands this evening (got the right sized lightbulbs!), watched Survivor with Trippy (who got home at 9:00) and we zoomed through the ads – always a plus. Trippy’s playing Monster Hunter now with his buddies. He was lucky to find them all online and ready to help him with some extra hard quest. They are all so happy to see him, and friendly. Nice. So I have nothing to complain about. I paid the bills yesterday. The Trimspa is working for me. I don’t feel hungry, I feel like I have energy, and even if it is all a placebo effect, I’m doing what I should be – exercising, drinking lots of water, NOT snacking all day, and eating reasonable portions. Tomorrow my day is wide open. I am going to run over to pick up some Freecycle books in the morning, and then make cards (if I feel like it) for 2 parties we have this week. I might even ask my friend to watch the kids, as I took hers for her yesterday so we could trade back for me when I needed it. Then I hope to get to work on Kim’s baby gifts. It is now officially her due date. So I better get on it! The only bad part of today was this morning – I hurt my back doing nothing – I was putting lotion on my face. I was really scared because it was the terrible pain like when I get stuck and can’t move for a long time – but Trip helped me get to the bed and I laid down flat and it passed after just a few minutes. THANK GOD! So, that’s what’s new. I also bought some running sneakers. The last pair I bought was on my honeymoon! Then in 1998 my mom gave me a pair that didn’t fit her properly and I “upgraded”. But they never really fit me right either, and they made a breathing noise when I wore them. Obviously I’m feeling like I’m bound to exercise when I have nice new sneakers that fit. These sneakers feel really nice. So we’ll see how it goes.
Moving Right Along…
Today was a very satisfying day. I packed up and shipped out 7 ebay sales items, 4 free DVD copies, and a pile of Christmas Cards I donated to a freecycler – all of which has been a load off of my mind. I also did many other things on my “list” for the day. One of those items was a trip to Costco, which could have been heinous, but turned out just fine, and I even got some Trimspa with a $6 off coupon. I know some people think it’s a terrible cop out to take diet pills, but I really need some kind of help and I think this may be just the thing for me. Who knows. I think it’s worth a try. all is well in the house. I talked with Stephanie, and she might try to go see the Vagina Monologues with us this weekend. I have to find out about the tickets tomorrow, though. I have a bunch more ebay things to list, but have slowly been making progress with them. I even went up and finished my work cleaning out the attic today. It was a good day for finishing up things. I heard from Trip that his friend Tod might come and visit tomorrow. So, I’m glad the house is all spiffed up and I will be on the ball tomorrow. I guess there is no other news. I read a trashy novel today during my nursing times. The boys had a nice time playing out side today, then played with Playdoh, then played out at the playground when I picked up Elliot from school. I always feel like a good mom when they get some good outside running around AND Playdoh in one day! I think I’m going to take a shower now – late, I know, but I really want one. I guess this is a boring entry, but it still feels good to make note of a day of progress. Tomorrow we start Trimspa. I weigh 150 pounds and hope to lose 25 (though I will settle for 20!)
Ahhhhh
I have been a busy girl, and I’m so pleased with my progress.
I had the house all spiffed up for mom’s visit – we had a great time.
I purged Nathan’s drawers of all of his too small clothes (which are bagged up for me to sell on ebay next fall)
We went to the mall and I found a really cute blouse and mom treated me to some lovely candles.
Mom watched the kids and I cleaned out the attic! Lots of stuff to toss, several items to sell on ebay and at the flea market, and it’s looking great up there.
Then mom baby sat, treated us to a bottle of wine and Trip and I went out for a great dinner at Captain Jack’s! (where we used our gift certificate from cousin John.)
Then I worked with my mom and really finished the bulk of her DVD and movie slide show design. We took out some pics she didn’t want, put titles on the ones she wanted titled. I have to go through and do any pans or zooms and then pick the music. It’s 80% done. The only problem there is that we stayed up tilll 2 this morning do it, and I was kind of beat today. But I was up early and went o the meeting for the Magical Garden in Belmar – where they have an organic community garden you can join for $10. The best $ I’ve spent in a long time. It was great working in the warmth of the greenhouse, the people were all very nice. I cleared out some planting trays and planted lots of seeds. They said there is going to be more than we need at harvest time, and I’m really looking forward to lots of fresh produce this summer.
Trip finally put up his pictures in his new and improved office, but I want to wait to take pictures after I do his curtains – new black ones that I am going to line with the old black ones (our old green ones that I dyed black) So they will be extra dark. So, all in all, I’m feeling great. maybe it’s a good time to do some sewing. I’m not in the mood to list ebay stuff. Maybe I can do that tomorrow. Later!
Treading Water
That’s how I’m feeling today. Last night I had high hopes that I could wake up, and purposefully attend to an organized list of things to do. I wanted to:
1. Touch up my hair color
2. Switch out Nathan’s outgrown clothes
3. Clear out my dresser (same thing)
4. Tidy the rest of the house in preparation for my mom’s visit.
5. As a reward, do my nails.
I have managed to tidy the rest of the house – which is frustratingly never really a done deal – Nathan keeps taking out books and throwing them around the floor. I’m soooo sick of picking them up – but I like them having books at the ready. There was a pretty big mess in the kitchen, so I am happy with this. Folded a load of laundry and cleaned the bathrooms.
Some other accomplishments: I returned a nice wreath to the Rag Shop – I thought it was so pretty and springy for the front door, but it was too thick and kept the door from closing easily.
I checked out Target to see if they had in the adorable little chandelier that I want for my sewing room. (right now I have an ugly bare bulb). Still not in stock – maybe tomorrow.
I finally had my freecycler come pick up his huge box of stuff.
But now I’m feeling like I’m in some kind of weird limbo. I’m waiting for Elliot to come home and then going straight the sink to take care of my hair. Then Nathan’s room, then mine. Maybe after that I can put in a few minutes in the attic – (big mess up there). I learned that there is going to be a big flea market at the end of April and I want to unload all of my unwanted stuff there. It’s helping to encourage me to do some extra purging and get rid of excess junk.
Also on that note, I think I’m going to try some Trimspa to help me lose weight. I generally do well with my diet and exercise when I’m at a certain level of fitness, and I am so far away from that right now that it’s too daunting for me to manage on my own. they have some at Costco, and will have a coupon for it next week, so I think – now’s my chance. I really just wanted to check in. Now that I’ve publicly announced my goals for the day, AND the fact that I’m going to use a dietary supplement, I think I can proceed with both. I’ll update tonight.
Photo Archiving again
I mentioned that I scanned 45 pictures yesterday, but that wasn’t really correct. I scanned 45 full scanner beds full of photos. Today I cropped each picture out separately and named them with a date and subject. There were 120 individual photos – and now they are back in neat piles in chronological order and also all in my computer. Now they are all imported to iphoto, and keywords have been attached. They still need to be dated in iphoto, but I can try some of that tomorrow. For now I know that when my mom arrives on Friday, I can give her back her original photos. I did nothing else of substance today – I read my Merlin book quite a bit because Nathan needed a lot of holding and nursing and I like to read when he’s nursing. He has another fever, and his bad cough is back. I have to think this is teething related, or else I would be freaking out that he has gotten sick AGAIN! I’m trying to be calm about this, but it’s been too much this winter with him. I gave him a nice bath and we gave him a nebulizer treatment, but it is still hard to see that he was so uncomfortable this afternoon, hot and it seemed in some pain.
I also tidied up around the house quite a bit. I have to be on the ball tomorrow. We have to get elliot to the dentist for some cavities that need filling first thing in the morning, and then off to school. I will probably work on some ebay stuff during the day, so that I can get more of my pile out of my sewing room before Mommy comes. Not much else to report. I heard back from the guy in Tucson that he will look through his videos and make copies of any he has with my dad on them. I’m very hopeful because he seems to be rather organized and business-like. Good night! (only 1:16 am! Good for me!)
Gossamer Threads 